Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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