I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
