3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
