Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
