I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
