After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
