You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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