I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize