I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
