I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I could fuck to npr.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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