so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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