he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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