that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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