it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
