he shaved USA in his pubs
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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