I need help removing her.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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