i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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