Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
