Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
