Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
MIDGETS
????
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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