I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
