I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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