dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
