wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
