I seem to have left my pride at pride
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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