So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
