you guys were way drunker than both of me
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
