The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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