Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
