Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
