The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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