very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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