Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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