god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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