OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I have grass duct taped all over my body
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
