So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
