Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
