I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
