There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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