The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I need to sanitize my soul.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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