I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
