when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
