your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
