JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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