Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
