U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
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