i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
