So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize