It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
