Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
