she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Reggie can tackle my bush.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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