Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
