Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
handjob tips. give me some.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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