she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
where am i from again
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
