you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
