my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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