I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize