Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize